I find the subject of happiness to be both simple and yet complex, it’s one of those. The strategies that we can do to create happiness for us, true and sustainable happiness are quite often so simple, so small and and so obvious yet we don’t do them. However, it is also complex, there’s actually a lot to this subject and one of the many reasons why I love learning about it so much. There is science behind it, there is a whole psychological movement through positive psychology and the reasons why it is something that a lot of us have on our all time goal list and yet feel like we’re never quite achieving it fascinates me hugely.
In this post I want to talk about the happiness myths because they do exist. There are many myths around happiness that can really influence what we think and feel about it. I’m going to be diving into three in this post.
Ready? Here we go…
It is a cold hard fact that we are being manipulated…daily.
Think about it – how much do you see adverts showing the latest things that create this feeling that if you buy them you’ll be happy? We start to question our true happiness from a young age, from the moments we are subjected to the outside world and its opinions and its stuff.
We then end up believing that we need to be different people, have different things, own more stuff, do more stuff, look different, behave different if we are to be truly happy. But we are more than capable of being happy until we become affected by the society around us and its influences.
Think about the times you’ve spoken about happiness recently, either to yourself or to others.
How many times do you attach happiness to stuff. It could be “I’ll be happy if or when I earn £50K a year.” “I’ll be happy when we live in a big house.” or “Ooooh this new phone would really make me happy.”
Our happiness gets more influenced by what’s around us than what’s actually inside us. There have been numerous studies around the connection between money and happiness as an example and that we might have a goal of earning a certain wage and that when we earn that wage we will be happy.
But then what happens?
We reach the goal, the wage that we believe what will make us happy because with this wage it brings x,y and z to our lives and we enjoy it for a little perhaps but then we’re told/manipulated that to live a certain kind of life you now need to be earning another £20K on top of that and so we start again and start believing that earning that would make us happy. Do you see the pattern?
We spend so many years focused on the things, the stuff and always heading toward the next thing, the next achievement because our society has created a place where value is questioned. Our value is questioned and that it must be a certain way and we contribute and show our value by doing things a certain way.
Think of all the adverts you see on the television and how much they influence you, think of the posts you read on social media that make you question what you want and a lot of the time direct us to stuff that we don’t actually want but we buy into the belief that they will make us happy.
We need to quieten down the noise of these external influences and get in tune with ourselves and what really makes us happy. True happiness comes from within, not from the outside.
Here are some ways you can start doing that:
⭐️ Start getting more involved and insightful about adverts and how they’re reaching you. Take the steps to start blocking or restricting the information that companies can then use as ways to advertise to you.
⭐️ Tune your social feeds and create a place that gives you the good stuff and not a load of people who are going to make you question yourself in negative ways.
⭐️ Before jumping into purchases or ways of being that you’ve seen ask yourself do I really want this? Let that have space and see what the real answer is.
Another question for you…
How many times do you say the words “I’ll be happy when…”
Seeing your happiness as result that you’ll experience when a certain event happens i.e. moving house, getting a new job, meeting the one etc is like telling yourself that you’ll only be happy when you achieve the thing. That’s when your happiness and joy will kick in. The challenge with this is that you are then living to get to a place.
The island of happiness, where it all happens.
It’s the destination that you’ll get to eventually and when you do, you will feel happy.
𝗘𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁, 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆. 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗴𝗮 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?
You may have heard the phrase “Happiness is not the destination, it’s the journey.”
This is so important to remember because it’s true. Happiness is something we can experience in the now, in our moments. Happiness is something we can create for ourselves now and not keep waiting.
Think about this, how long do you want to keep waiting?
What about all the happiness opportunities that you miss out on because you’re waiting, while you are waiting?
Creating joy in your everyday.
Getting clear on what actually makes a happier you and making it happen.
Choosing activities, intentions and experiences that serve you.
Take charge of your happy, now. Don’t wait anymore.
This is a big one because this is not true and this is where our understanding of what happiness is really helps us here.
Happiness is a state it’s a state of being, like any other state and we’re not designed to be in this state all the time. However, and this is like I said above where the subject feels so simple and yet it is complex, happiness is within, it’s within us and it can be a daily feeling of peace , security, gratitude, contentment, joy and abundance. This is sustainable happiness and creating this for ourselves, within ourselves.
As human beings we are here to feel all the states, all the emotions, all the feels. They exist for a reason and no one is happy 100% all day every single day, we have various levels of it throughout our day that is mixed in with other states and emotions.
Life is filled with challenges and without these challenges how would we build the mental and even physical muscles to live? Life is filled with mess – all kinds of mess, both beautiful and dark and to explore our life journey we need all the states and we have them for a reason.
When I work with clients in my happiness life coaching we dive into what happiness really is to us, what it does for us, what it feels like, who we are when we feel happy and then look at how we create this and ignite this for ourselves, within our selves and to bust through the things that hold us back from experiencing the good stuff but it in no way encourages only this state and that whole positive vibes only thing because that can be very toxic. When you have happiness life coaching with me we go through all the emotions and we welcome them and they have their space. This is such an important part of the journey for me and for my clients.
You are a big, bold and beautiful human being with a whole host of feelings and that’s important to remember.
I hope you’ve enjoyed learning about these three happiness myths and they’ve opened your eyes more to happiness and what it can be for you.